Barney Frank, from his 2009 Commencement Address at the American University School of Public Affairs. Video and Transcript Here.

Last Tuesday I was robbed at gunpoint a few blocks from my apartment by three teenagers. A lot of my stuff was taken, but nothing that couldn't be replaced. I'm just happy to be unharmed. My neighbor, R, was jumped at the same time — I hadn't met him before, talk about a weird situation to get acquainted with someone. We were separately walking home from the Metro around 9:30 and the kids followed us. I was on my phone talking to E in Minneapolis and I was not paying attention to my surroundings as I walk. Then it was too late and there was a gun to my head and in 20 seconds it was over. I'll hold off on some of details about the kids and the weapons since the investigation is still open and ongoing.

Since both of my mobile phones were taken, I had to call 911 after borrowing a phone from K, my next door neighbor (she was incredibly helpful too). I gave the police a report — they were very quick to respond to the scene, showing up at the front door before the dispatcher was finished taking my info. I went to bed a bit shaken and paranoid since they had taken both my keys and had my address on my driver's license. I've since changed the locks to my apartment.

• a blue wristband (which has a half-dozen meanings, according to The Internet),
• a poorly placed gold ribbon lapel pin,
• and a large class ring.

He played his strong suit first by saying he's unemployed and he's trying to get out of his apartment because he keeps fighting with his current roommates. He bluntly asked if either of them are vegetarians (my friend's housemate, M, is) before explaining that he despises his current vegetarian/vegan roommates. He volunteered that he had a thousand dollar futon (??) and a toaster oven because he hates slot-loading toasters (Philistine). He then hit me up for a job (heh) and made a fool of himself by mimicking the cat (don't ask – it was too painful to write about). I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's got to keep looking and I feel like he's not going to catch a break anytime soon.

I went with with the Congressman and a few other staffers in our office. They have some sort of a strict rule that they could only allow U.S. citizens in our office to participate in the tour. Turns out they didn't even check once we arrived (after I spent the whole weekend memorizing the answers to the U.S. Nationalization Test). To be fair to their procedures, the officer (he's an officer, not an agent <groan>) leading us around did personally know everyone on our staff, so I sorta doubt we could have smuggled in our Thai APSA Fellow in.

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